Apparently we're not just doing classic children's stories, then, since I have no idea what this is about. A clown? A big hulking dimwit? Honestly I have no context for what this is going to be, other than (hopefully) entertaining. Time for movie #4 on my Disney tour. Come on and join me :D
SOMEone won't let me see the case to the DVD, so I guess this will just be a surprise. Fine, whatever, I trust them. Except the short lady one. Don't trust her at all. You all know why. Ohhh you all know why.
Anyway! Enough chit-chat, off we go. Roomie brought home a big can of peanuts to snack on. It's no pizza, but you know what? They're pretty good in a pinch. Kind of addictive, actually.
|RKO RADIO PICTURES
Walt Disney presents
Clowns. Called it I'm a genius yup it's a circus
Never actually been to a circus. I guess they just aren' a thing any more
Clowns are kind of fhastly, actually
Hm... is it the strongman? Or a clown?
It was a dark and stormy night... Through the snow and sleet and hail, through the lbi oh we're doing verse
Look out for Mr. Stork, I guess. He's... a serial child abductor?
Our story is probably set in Florida, which is being beset by a Dambusters run of baby bombs
ohhh okay I was worried there
"and when he comes around... he'll hit you with his fist..."
hheeeee tiny giraffe
Not for you, elephant mama
AN EXCITING TRAIN this music's really cheery wow they've gotten a lot more confident at putting humans on screen
...um no what's with THOS Egiraffes, they look terrible
Hello bitchyface purple elephant
Train whistle is a robot. Check.
I sense another song coming DOWN THE TRACk, COMING DOWN THE TRACK
What's up stork
Well I mean you are
YEah keep a hold of that thing would you
I'll bet it's a baby elephant. Named Dumbooooh you fucker Roomie peanuts
Bet it goes there
Man you're all rude
Alright y'goddamn telegram stork shut it up
Man you're all glaring like he killed your cat
that's not gonna end wellYOINK
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww that is adorable
SHUT UP ALL OF YOU he's the cutest thing
oh buzz off bitchface
CARTOON ELEPHANT SNEETHE FUCK
...you're not the brightest are you
can you cook elephants cause I really wyeah you tell 'em Mrs. Jumbo holy cow those ears though
built-in swaddling, I guess
another one of Disney's insanely catchy mini-songs
Why is it getting all dark with the most SINISTER ROBOT TRAIN VOICE EVER I sense trouble
music's going all off kilter this is bad news there is STRESS AFOOT
Dumbo reminds me of Pinocchio for some reason. I think it's the eyes
I can't make out any of the lyrics but it has not escaped my notice that the human laborers are all quite dark. Work on that shit please Disney
I mean it may be historically accurate but still
The lighting and scene framing continues to be excellent
happy hardhead rascal louts?
I guess it really would be a ton of work to set up holy crap that's a huge tent
I found an important guy in a red coat
So the men so far are all exaggerated but Disney's definitely working on it
"nobody here to spit on, why bother"
okay these clowns are all messed up
it's the naive little smile oh come on don't do that to the kid
BATHTIME he's just the happiest thing
Odd how none of the animals can talk except for elephants
and then mostly the bitchy ones
hehehehe this is likethe best thing ever playing hide and seek with mommy
YOU'RE ONE TO TALK, DUMBASS
oh you're asking for it kid
THIS IS STRESS
THIS IS LOTS OF STRESS
just no okay I have to come back to this later. Just no
Okay I'm back and I'm calm and we can keep going.
this is still really stressful and depressing oh come on not the bitchfaces
Why does this strike me as Jiminy Cricket: Mouse Version
EXCUSE THE FUCK YOU?>>>>
NOPE EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU?
oh you are all just the worst
Go scare the shit out of them
VICTORY oh take that you wretched foul ows
Hat of holding, apparently
"that's what you think"
don't do the false hope thing. You'd better have a plan
Thank you for making him feel good. I needed that too.
he's just the happiest thing having someone to hold onto
why am I watching a fat pompos man's silhouette strip
"I don't know" good job top hat
see now this movie is sounding dirty
"you're a climax" indeed
yeah I went there. You can't stop me.
If his career as a climax doesn't work out you could teach him to be a ninja, Fancy Mouse
They really are pushing themselves on the humans
pfft YOU accusing anyone else of being a stuffed shirt
even though he's stuffing his shirt...
why do I feel like this is going to fail terribly
you realize this would have been tough enough WITHOUT the ball, yes?
owwwwwwww that would suck CLUMSU OX
this whole thing just screams idiocy
yeah this is going to backfire on Jiminy Notcricket
this is a terrible terrible idea
well I suppose that's a way to do it
well as long as you're coming down, ou may as well crush terrible leaderbitch to death
yes I'm endorsing this I hate her so mcuh
ASSASSIN, isn't that a bit harsh
given that he hasnt killed you yet I mean annnnnnnnnnnnd now the tent's coming down
wwwwwwwwwow that went worse than I preducted
Dark and stormy night part 2: in which Dumbo is sent BACK to heave :(
Nobody wanted to see your face anyway HAHAHA TAIL CAST
suffer you dumb cows
oh not you again yellow cap. Everyone hates you
oh so I was technically correct.
oh right like you ever considered him one to begin with
he's still insanely cute THE FUCK IS THST LCOWN WWEARING
THANKS FOR BEVERAGE
oh come on that's animal cruelty
SERIOUSLY the elephant head mask thing is the creepiest
hehehe the clowns disarming
...you are literally bathing him with his own tears now.
DING there we go. That's a thing hey I like the hat. It's jaunty
"I hope she's in" Captain Insensitive is here
this movie is going to hst kill my heart isn't it
ostriches KANGAROO ROCKING CHAIR
I hate you all for letting me watch this, just for the record
"simple mathematics." Well yes, being SIMPLE is THEY'RE MADE OF RUBBER? EXCUSE oh fuck me
and now a new song
and they wasted all their beer too
HEHHAHAHAHAA OH MY GOD THAT NOISE IS THE CUTEST
oh no no no nooooooo
this is not a solution
this is a problem
Now he turns into a donkey?
this can only end poorly for everyone involved
WHAT ARE THESE NOISES
I have located the drunks
Fancy Mouse is having a heck of a lot of luck
are we doing this? :D SILLY DRUNK BUBBLES?
oh what what the what
...are we having a song with hallucinated elephant bubbes?
WHAT ARE THESE THINGS
HONK but WHY?
they just keep multiplying for the most absurd reasons
oh now they're marching around the screen this sin't optimal
why are they SO GODDAMN FREAKY
ON THEIR HEADS
WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT
did he drop acid or did I WHTHE FUCK IS THAT FACE GOLEM
annnnnnd its eyes are puramids of course they are and now an elecamel
which is now a snake which is now a freaky belly dancer which is a I GIVE UP
I'm in the Far Realm aren't I
this is wht has happened
who was on acid when this happened
speculative reflections of elephants are dancing and now there's snow and THEY HAVE LIGHTNING
and it's a dance party...?
he zapped the small one and ut tuned into CARS NOW TRAINS WHAT erap'foh
I don't even have like
well then. I am never, never, EVER doing acid.
and they're clous oh I really hppe we're back to normal
...that is some HIGH FALUTIN RACISM RIGHT THERE ON MY SCREEEN
HOW DID THAT WHAT
What are they doing up a tree
Wow even for this era that's all kinds of racism
HAHAHA the eyebrows
I'm with you, Racist Caricature Crows.
WHAT ARE WE DOIN' DOOOOWN HERE???
the eyes are the best thing
I can't even
it hurts to laugh
Well then. Does he climb trees drunk?
HE FLEW :D
HE'S A FLYING ELEPHANT?!?!?! :D
Oh this just got fantastic
oh here comes a song
oh they're flogging idioms. I kind of love it, casual racism notwithstanding...
Goddamn this is catchy too
You tell 'em Fancy
REV'REND RODENT IS GONNA AD-DRESS YOU
The "magic feather," eh?
poor little crow getting squished
and then Dumbo summoned the doom cloud and everyone evolved
guys I'm watching a flying elephant
thyAT can't be good for those power lines
oh not the goddamn elephant mask again
oh wow they really did raise it up. Nutballs
fancy talking time
you don't want me to be an elephant? Fine, I'mma be a bird
suck it, clowns
RATATATATATATATTAT suck it bitches
hee newspaper covers
Timothu Mouse, eh?
YESSSS MRS JUMBO IS OUT
"I wish I'd have got his autograph!"
Wait that's it?
Wow, that was... really really short. Okay then. Maybe we'll do another one. Maybe.