Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Hobbit: Ch7 Queer Lodgings

Folks there it is again in the chapter title and I still haven't seen an explanation. Did it just mean "strange" or something back then? That's kind of unfortunate, considering... anyway, I'm not gonna step in it just because it's a slow week for comments, but if someone could pleeease enlighten me it would be great. Anyway.


The Hobbit: Ch6 Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire

I don't know, folks, this book has set itself a really high bar and I'm sort of getting tired of things dropping out of the sky, figuratively or (in this case) literally, to save the collective butts of Mr. Baggins and company.

The Matrix: First impressions

Here we go, and I am really excited, I know a lot about this movie, because this was the one, folks. This was the movie I was not allowed to see as a kid and always wanted to. There was a convenience store where you could rent movies, and it had posters up for some movies. For years and years, the poster that was always up right near the door was The Matrix. It looked serious and dark and awesome and of course Nan would always say "we're not renting that, it's too violent."

Well fine, Nan, I won't rent it. I will, however, accidentally push the Play button. :D

The Not-So-Great Internet Outage (is fixed)

Squirrels. Mother beeping squirrels. I thought they were supposed to be, you know, cute. Industrious. Fat-cheeked. Kind of like nature made rats 2nd edition, the not-terrible version. Turns out they are in fact rats 2nd edition, the chews-on-wires-because-go-fuck-yourself version. Now when most people have no Internet, they go outdoors, maybe hit up a cafe with free wireless. For some of us that's not an option. Needless to say it's been a fun week of "we fixed it" "no you didn't" "no we didn't." I got one forum message out during the however long of "fixed" they had before they broke it again.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Big Trouble in Little China: First impressions

So yesterday I was sick. Not just sick. Sick. That kind of sick where you wonder why you can't remember the drinking because holy smokes did you ever earn a mother of a hangover. I haven't been drinking because I'm not a complete moron, but all yesterday and most of today I've just been a human pile of nope. This is my first movie in just about a week, I think, and I could reeeeeally go for something fun right now. If this is another Big Lebowski, I'm gonna have a very very bad two hours.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Week 7: Adjusting to meds is lots of something

Something, yes. Fun not quite so much. Turns out I was having a reaction to the hydrowhatsit, so I had to go see the doctor on Monday. New pain meds are... a thing. I feel like they've slowed me down. I definitely did almost nothing this week until today, which I spent hanging out with my uncle. Which was awesome.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

The Hobbit: Ch5 Riddles in the Dark

A longer chapter that might just be the best one so far and by might I mean definitely is. Can a literary character give a tour-de-force performance? Because I'm pretty sure one just did.

The Hobbit: Ch4 Over Hill and Under Hill

Oh it's on now. Not it it, but the general sort of "it." A dungeon of caverns, a horde of goblins, magic weapons, wizards throwing fireballs and/or bolts of lightning, and of course my favorite thing to tell people not to do ever, splitting the goddamn party. Accidentally, of course, but still.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Star Trek: S1E18 Arena review

On top of the breadbox in the kitchen, there's a curious sort of thing. Located right next to a wooden hammer on a clothespin called the Cape Breton Quarter Pounder (there's a quarter, it hits it, it's funny) is a flat, circular bit of ceramic on a cork base. It is the most useful tool in the universe, for want of which, as my grandmother explains it, so many tasks cannot be accomplished. I don't have one handy myself, but when it comes to watching more Star Trek I can finally say that I have at last gotten a Round Tuit.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Roomie just came home and showed me a thing. Did you folks know there's a counter on the right hand side that shows how many times the blog gets visited? Because I did not know that and it is my blog and I have just seen it and HOLY SMOKEBALLS HOW DID I GET TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND VIEWS

Monday, July 21, 2014

Jaws: Second thoughts

Duhhh-NUH. Duhh-NUH. Duh-NUH. Dud-DUN-dun-DUN-dun-DUN-dun-DUN-dun-DUN...

The Hobbit: Ch3 A Short Rest

Another short chapter sees the return of the narrative voice of my grandfather, skipping trivial details (he's not wrong, this narrator, it's lots more fun and more to talk about besides when things are all going to hell) to get to even more of the stuff I enjoy and hints about the next trials to come. Stoked. :D

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Hobbit: Ch2 Roast Mutton

I'm pretty sure the party once won an encounter using Hold Portal, but never before have I seen such effective use of the Ventriloquism spell.

Of course, never before have I seen a critical fumble  on seventeen consecutive Intelligence checks, but the dice gods will have their wrath and their due.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Jaws: First impressions

So Jaws was late, and I'll tell you why, and incidentally if someone has a protip on how to keep a party cool when it's a hot day that would be super appreciated.

Obviously the answer is there was a party. Big drunk one. Pizza and roofs torn off, that kind of good stuff. Nah, wasn't really "big," just seven or eight of us, but definitely booze. Since I can't drink, I was on glowstick and music duty. We made this really awesome sort of glow ball thing with eight or ten or however many little flexible glowsticks and threw it around. Also we played a game called Cards Against Humanity, which is really fun but apparently my sense of humor isn't quiiiiite up to par for that game. I lost a lot.

So to answer what I'm sure is the question on everyone's mind going into this, yes I know about the shark.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Week 6: I am Jeremy, and Jeremy means me!

I'm sure I was going to go with another title, but then, of course, I read the first chapter of The Hobbit, and there seemed to be no other choice. This week I had surgery, watched two dumb movies and one excellent episode of Star Trek, and picked up a book. I was going to pick up some music but I think I lost my list.

The Hobbit: Ch1 An Unexpected Party

In a hole in the ground there (sometimes) lived a Jeremy. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with worms and smells, nor a dry, sandy hole with nothing to do. It was a basement hole, and that means curiosities.

The Hobbit: Starting point

Judging from the comments I've seen (let alone the ones I'm sure Lacy and Roomie have seen), The Hobbit would appear to be a super popular book. Now that my head's a bit more clear and I'm not due for any more surgerying in the immediate future, I think it's high time for me to dive in on my first book read! :D

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure: Second thoughts

Really starting to notice a burn in my left leg, so I'm glad surgery's coming up. On the bright side, the god-burrito was fantastic and I'll have to post a picture later. Thing was utterly ridiculous.

Speaking of things that were utterly ridiculous and consumed voraciously, I just watched a really stupid fun movie, folks! :D

Monday, July 14, 2014

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure: First impressions

One of my lovely readers made a donation of a most unusual kind: a "god-burrito." So I'll be seeing that for dinner today and it should be quite the thing. If it's half as godly as the rumor suggests, I'll be a pretty happy fella.

Folks, I just watched another Usual Suspects and I'm feeling the need for simple. Something to relax the ol' brain. Besides the codeine, I mean. Hopefully this film will be... dare I say... Excellent? :D

The Big Lebowski: Second thoughts

 I was recently sent a lot of music to listen to, and I'm really looking forward to diving into it. I've also got my copy of The Hobbit in the mail. And today, apparently, I'm going to be experiencing an Excellent Adventure. Really hoping that the combined forces of those things will be enough to scrub the dust of this movie out of my brain. Time to help out the cleaning process with a big old thought dump.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Big Lebowski: First impressions

This movie inspired a snort of disdain from Roomie. A snort. Of disdain. Plenty of people I know like it, though, so that's a thing. I'm on board for giving it a go; I understand the recommend came from a good and trusted source. At any rate, I've got pizza, an orange pop and absolutely zero context for what this film is about. A large Polish man, maybe? -ski is Polish. Enough dallying, let's hop in. :D

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Star Trek: S1E16 The Galileo Seven review

I'm going to start this one off with a relevant joke, because I keep noticing this and I find it funny and you all probably don't get it. There's a ship captain, and whenever an enemy vessel is sighted coming towards his ship, he always orders the first mate to bring him his red shirt. Every battle, as soon as the enemy appears, it's "bring my red shirt." One day the first mate asks him why, and the captain explains that it's important for morale, order, decorum, what have you that the crew not see him injured in the course of battle, as it would be a distraction from their duties, so he wears a red shirt to hide the blood.

One day they sight ten enemy vessels, and the captain asks for his brown pants.

Labyrinth: Second thoughts

Puppets are pretty awesome in these movies, not gonna lie. The practical effects in Labyrinth were always fairly good when they weren't plain ingenious (I'm still a big fan of the Helping Hands). What a surreal and wacky dungeon adventure this one was. :D

Escape From New York: Second thoughts

This one's brief, because I didn't find a lot to really analyze in the movie. It definitely didn't hit all the notes I expected; in fact, I didn't expect that sort of rescue plotline at all. This is a movie that succeeds on the strength of its atmosphere and its lead. Decent entertainment.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Week 5: Moon Mist is the best ice cream

This was the week of Moon Mist, missions from God, challenges from Boxing God, repartee with Silent God, stolen planes, stolen Presidents, stolen babies, stolen hearts, stolen love and whatever the duration of Ladyhawke was in stolen time. I'm going to talk about a few things today, but the general tone of the week was pretty upbeat and I'm in an excellent mood. :D

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Holy shit you guys are awesome

Roomie just came in and showed me a bank deposit to my account for over a hundred bucks and he told me it's all donations from you guys. What the ever loving hell is going on behind my back that you all schemed to do this? Is that what Lacy posted about? I don't even know. I'm just floored right now. Thank you all so much!

Labyrinth: First impressions

Roomie and Lacy are seeming very pleased with themselves about something, and I'm hoping it's not this movie, because last time one of them was very pleased with herself about a movie I had a night straight from Hell. Let's hope this is nothing like that.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Blues Brothers: Second thoughts

About a month ago, I asked the lovely posters of the RPGnet forums to recommend movies and TV shows and even books and video games for me to experience for the first time. This was a massive oversight, since I forgot the most important thing of all.


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Escape From New York: First impressions

Waking up to construction noises isn't really the best thing, but to be fair it was like 11:30 when they were going. When I sleep, I reeeeeally sleep, it seems. Anyway, I've got a morning Gatorade and some One-Handed Bacon & Eggs and there's a movie preset on the TV, so I'm going to skip finishing the Blues Brothers second thoughts for the moment and plow right in.

Also apparently Lacy can post on this blog. I didn't know that. What secrets is she sneaking to you all, eh? S'rude, that one is.

Jeremy, don't read this post please :)

Everyone else, read this post please!

Monday, July 7, 2014

The Blues Brothers: First impressions

Let me tell you about the wonderful person you all know as Roomie. Roomie was out in that hot misery that some people call a city. He was out with a car. The car had a cooler in it. I don't know where either of those things came from, but that's incidental, we don't care about the story of how Roomie became an ice ride pirate. Actually that sounds awesome. Anyway.

Ladyhawke: Second thoughts

I'm sure a lot of you got taught about the old saw, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'm going to pretend like I don't know that one; if I don't, this will be an awfully short review.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Ladyhawke: First impressions

So today, Tropical Storm Arthur came to visit us, and it...


It whiffed, but it also took out power intermittently to long-term for a lot of the city and probably the province, too. It definitely got us. Roomie tells me that signs and flags and whatnot were torn down, and all the while I'm just looking out the window and seeing blue skies and bright fluffy white clouds. It looked like the most benign and cheerful disaster ever. So yeah, this movie ended up much later in the day than I wanted.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Rocky: Rocky second thoughts

In 2007 the New England Patriots were coming off a bloodying. They got walloped out of a massive lead by the Colts, lost two wide receivers, and at the start of the season they got in trouble because Belichick was cheating. They went on to win every single regular season game that year and were headed for an incredible perfect record, going right at the Super Bowl where they were favorited over the Giants.

Well, Giants are Giants, and sometimes momentum isn't enough. There was no perfect season, but it was a hell of a ride and one hell of a game.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Jeremy waves hello!

I said I'd put this up, because we got a picture of it and some people are curious. WARNING: This is a picture of a hand injury. Don't click if you don't want to see.

Week 4: My overconfidence is my weakness!

...your faith in your good friend Jeremy is yours. BOO YEAH. LOOK WHO'S QUOTING STAR WARS LIKE A MASTER JEDI NOW? Come pretty far in a month, didn't I? :D

Anyway, I was all sure that this was going to be this great back to business kind of week, forgetting two important things: 1) Canada Day, and 2) that it's summer. Allow me to elaborate!

Rocky: Rocky first impressions

Someone told me over on RPGnet that they were getting tired of my first impressions posts because I comment way too much and make it hard to follow. To that I say: yeah, that's probably my bad. Going forward, I hope to do better, and since this is my first sports movie...

Well I might be in trouble.