Back to the Future: First impressions

Sometimes Jeremy has a clever thing to say before the jump break. Sometimes he's got no such thing. Sometimes he's impatient and just wants to get to the movie. This is one of those times.

Obligatory what do I know about the film?

• It's a time travel movie, I think, because it's called Back to the Future

• Someone from the future will come to the present

• They (the mysterious THEY ooooo) will have to get this individual back to the future.

• I'm not allowed to see or hear the DVD menu. Aaaagain.

• Lots of people want me to watch it so WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

Universal! Last time this was a good thing. Here we go.

...also Universal. Yes. I know this. Move along.

SPIELBERG YOU PEOPLE ARE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE

tick tick tick tick tick...

tick tick tick

I get it already clocks exist

YES THEY HAVE PENDULUMS TOO GET ON WITH IT

AND SOME OF THEM ARE CATS AND OWLS AND DOGS ENOUGH

Brown mansion destroyed. Significant?

1985 is the year.

that's how not to make coffee

THE POWER OF LOVE. Awesome title.

and MISSING PLUTONIUM now I'm intrigued

that's how not to make toast. This is a room full of clocks and accomplishments in not success

hm. Einstein's not hungry

or maybe dead

There's a doc.

PLUTONIUM FOUND.

ooh, powering up a Mysterious Device

OVERDRIVE. love it

what is it?

this seems unwise

this is VERY UNWISE

that's a very tiny guitar AND A VERY BIG AMP

DON'T STAND IN FRONT YOU MORON

yup. you deserved just about all of that.

that's a vastly impractical way to play rock & roll, just saying.

Thank you for the tip, Doc.

...

HAHAHHAHAA. I like the Doc already, he's nuts.

This music rocks.

THE POWER OF LOVE, IT'S A CURIOUS THING

CHANGE YOUR HEART TO A LITTLE WHITE DOVE

STRONG AND IT'S SUDDEN AND CRUEL SOME TIMES BUT IT MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR LIIIIIFE

That's the Power of Love, bitches.

Girlfriend or friend who is a girl

she's cute and HELLO authority figure

Dr. BROWN. Like the mansion that no longer exists.

Hello, I'm Principal Rectum.

so they're going back in time

yes, you are the pinheads. That was an awesome song and you're butchering it like lazy somethings

big poofy hair though

biiiig poofy hair.

I like trucks. Not generally, but you know, they can be helpful.

she totally did. SAVE THE CLOCK TOWER, RUIN THE MOMENT.

they're going 30 years back in time.

music's back, still cool

this is getting iTuned after the movie SHE LOVES YOU GUY. GO YOU :D

THAT'S THE POWER THAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

now that vehicle looks not good

your dad is a noodle, kid.

Biff. Sounds fitting for a large meatheaded obnoxious rectum.

what was that dance

was that a your mother joke in 1985?

seriously. a noodle.

this is mom then

that cake is tragic.

YOUR DAD IS JUST THE MOST UNCOOL OF THINGS

full of lies, madam.

HAHHAHAHA REALLY? where's my wife, then? or does it have to be a car

that's a stupid name for a dance

they're setting all the pieces in place, I can see it now

OH THE FACE ON HER. just priceless. The man is the most annoying thing.

way to be a winner, kid.

video camera, eh? we're about to do something awesome

skateboards. never got into 'em

hey Einstein. How's the world's starvingest dog

oh ehere we go let's see some time machine :D

and some Doc for that matter!

dog's like "what"

what

that's a car

that's like a space car

with CRAZY DOORS HELLO

AND CRAZY DOCTOR HELLO look at the hair I love it

um, he's wearing a radioactive symbol.

oh sure send the dog

oh here we go what does this do

Doc's never allowed driving my car when I cget a car just saying

is that fast? I think it's fast

"YOU'RE GONNA SEE SOME SERIOUS SHIT" love it

come on do it

here we go :D

YOU ARE A CRAZY FOOL MAN

AWESOME

but what if he was wrong? also THERE'S FIRE THERE

there's a LOT of fire there

WHEN THE HELL ARE THEY INDEED :D

the music's just jovially bonkers and I love it

yeah why a car

HAHHAHA THAT DOES NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION THOUGH

OKAY THEN it's dangerous when it reappears

and

covered with ice? or did it melt

he looks so puzzled it's hilarious

ice.

loving the sounds

man's got the craziest eyes

well that's gonna get stolen then

bet we're gonna meet young man Peabody

A LITTLE MORE KICK

jigawatt? how much is that?

HE STOLE BOMB PLUTONIUM FROM TERRORISTS. he really is a crazy man and I love it

"cotton underwear in the future"

wait

1985 + 25 = 2010 WE'VE BEEN THERE :D

terroritsts. because of course.

YOU STOLE PLUTONIUM FROM THEM OF COURSE THEY DID

agreed

 well, he's a very brave kind of stupid

WHAT THE

well, he's a very dead kind of stupid

this is as rational a reason for time travel as well no it's really not but I'm still on board with this

don't think you meant to hit that button

DON'T TEASE ME I WANT TIME TRAVEL

that music is fantastic :D

HERE WE GO YES THE MUSIC IS WITH US WE CAN DO ANYTHING

SCARECROW DOWN

ladies and gentlemen, the wrong way to stop a car.

YOung Man Peabody?

I still don't remember the kid's name

HAHAHHAA

 YESSSSSSS IT'S A UFO KID YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE

AAAAHAHAHHAA HE LOOKS LIKE N ALEIN

hehehehe I love it

AHAHAHAHA YOU MUTATED SON OF A BITCH

HEHEHE IT WAS PEABODY I SAW THE MAILBOX

what is it

wjat

don't be fascinating, musical bells, tell me OH HEY YOU HAVE NO HOUSE

so that's cool

It just hurts so much to laugh

you're out of plutonium, guy

now that's an old old song

this is awesomely done guys

and the music is eerie now

this is no John Williams

Clock works

30 yep

and that must have looked futurey

HAHHAA didn't even realize that about the vest

phone numbers have five numbers

did you just mutilate a phonebook and then show the owner

THAT'S HIS DAD :D

THAT'S A RECTUM

that kid is wearing 3D glasses

no seriously look at him

noodle. absolute noodle.

HAHAHA awkward

he just made it happen! :D

so his dad is George. What's the kid's name how did I miss this seriously

GEORGE YOU'RE A PERVERT

well no he's a peeping George.

well that looks familiar

I HIT ANOTHER ONE.

it is! It's his mom!

Allo kid's mom!

NOPE THAT'S WRONG. oh dear, not a dream

she's really cute. Don't say it

doooon't say it

Calvin eh?

She's really into the purple underwear thing

AHAHHAHAH YESSSSSS

MArty. come on Lorraine pay attention

awkwaaaaaaaaard

well that didn't sound extremely inappropriate at all HAHAHAHAHH

hehehe is everyone going to be on about the vest

RIGHT THE JAIL :D

so amused right now SHE'S A CREEP AND IT'S FUNNY

hehehe he's so not ready to be in 1955

So amused

A BIT YES

"yet"

that's right, that's before Kennedy

oh no don't even

stop being bad Lorraine

OHGOD NO NO NO NOPE NOPE OKAY THEN THAT WAS A GROPE

OH THAT'S ALL KINDS OF NOT ALRGIGHT

bad news, Sam...

nice house! right it burns down. wonder how that happens

WHAT is on his head WHAT is he doing

"SHUT UP THIS IS SCIENCE"

that you're a genius?

that you're a moron. got it

hehehehe going for the hairstyle

no idea

THE ACTOR YESSSSSSS I SAW THAT I FORGOT THAT :D

he remembers more than I do also crazy eyes love it

is it really just a Y?

you're no spring chicken now right because your hair's a prize.

the future rationalizing is great

That's what it looks like when a brain explodes! I always wondered

LET ME OUT OF THIS ROOM, SOMEONE SAID JIGAWATTS IN THERE

right yes it's so easy to get RIGHT FROM THE DRUGSTORE

"that says it all" how nice to be mildly younger than I am now.

OH YES YOU HAVE A BOLT OF LIGHTNING here I thought they'd need to summon Gozer or tell the Emperor all about how Marty's a Jedi just like George and I don't think anyone's gonna buy that

BACK TO THE FUTURE he said it

oh right THAT WAS YOUR DAD AND YOU SCREWED IT UP AND YOUR MOM WANTS YOU this movie is messed up in hilarious WHERE IS HIS HEAD

"weight has nothing to do with it"

tell him he's a noodle

KICK HIM. "maybe you were adopted"

how is getting pranked being a slacker?

yeahhhh you're in trouble

I;m sure this will be a very successful plan.

She basically just you know

"isn't he a dream"

Wh ARE things so heavy in the future, Marty?

who lets a man who looks like that into a school?

HAHAHA "nothing"

RHYTHMIC CERMEONIAL RITUAL. :D

hey, he's a legit geek. As opposed to just a noodle.

right because you suck at music that isn't bad

his hairstyle is just... very bad

like dead rat bad

oh hello you're a creep. OH RIGHT

RIGHT HE IS VERY SIZE. you are very not size.

NOPE HAHAHAHHA TRY AGAIN BIFF

yeah that would be kind of creepy

hehehe he is, too

seriously what's with the hair

no not clocks again we did clocks

hehehe I think I see where this is going

YESSSS HEHEHEHEH

HAHAHAHA YESS HE'S VADER

wait that's Star Trek I KNOW THINGS NOW I AM SPECIAL AND WONDERFUL :D

"last night Darth Vader came down and said he'd melt my brain"

don't take notes

wait you're you. yes take notes.

"GIMME A MILK> MAKE IT CHOCOLATE"

this is Goerge being a badass. It is not success.

her density, eh?

that's much better

REMINDER: I AM SIZE

FIST-TOLD

instant skateboard. what the hell were THEY riding?

the music is just fantastic who allows this to not be in my ears

hahaha they're morons


oh dearie me she's hooked

THE HELL, GUYS

High probability of truck

UP AND OVER

SHIIIIIIIIIIIT INDEED YES YES YES :D

oh you've done it now kid

well now what's htis going to mean

yes it's fascinating how much it says you're gonna die

that's CRUDE?

There's even a tiny clock

jigawatts, it never stops being funny and my side hurts

and then he explodes and destroys City Hall by knocking it into the abyss. It's a great plan

she said "I would much prefer to date my own son" and it wasn't weird of all, no

CRAZY EYES I'm right there with you Doc

YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS, KNEW IT! bad Lorraine :D

stupid George

she's got a butt chin I can't unsee it

the swish in the front is so crazy

well you see George it's a clever plan that will be detailed later. By Ghostbusters.

Good save Marty. "Daddy-o"

Cunning plan. Don't ask questions.

CUNNING PLAN NEVER ASK ME THAT QUESTION

maybe don't pose like that when you say it

if your hair didn't look like something died on your head, I'm sure you'd be more confident

well this is completely inconspicuous. Nice work Doc

that I';m going to STILL HAVE CRAZY EYES. Man's like the king of the crazy eye

that shirt is just amok, I'm not on board with the shirt

"for instance, don't steal from terrorists. That would be a reasonable precaution"

annnd trouble begins :D

it's called MONEY good sir

SAXOMOPHONE

LOVE ME A SAXOMOPHONE

I'll tell you a secret about me: I love some jazz.

I'll tell you another secret about me: I hate me some George dancing

Hello inappropriate couple, how's whatnows

She looks so ridiculous when she's trying to be cool

So that cunning plan of yours AND THAT'S THE BOOZE

HAHAHAH don't be a square Marty well now she's just some kind of AHHAHAHAHA THE IRONY

OHOHO OHO oh you guys no it hurts to laugh you're not allowed oh it's just so painful

George, go do a thing WELL NOW THAT IS A DRESS WITH YESSIREE THAT IS A DRESS

oh go on, do it, it's not like it's the world's most awkward idea HELLO LET US NOT BE DOING THAT he did not like that at all

she looks horrified IS HE A MARTIAN are you a Martian?

\'yes I am indeed your brother never kiss me again"

OH SHIT THAT'S NOT RIGHT

I don't think he keeps money there, most people don't oh no OH NO OKAY THIS IS WHY IS THERE STRESS

I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS

Way to mess with the sax man

He's good, I rarely hear the sax played so well without the actual instrument in hand

Heyo George

Life's about to get real bad for you sir

HAHAH the strut

George don't be a noodle THIS IS NOT THE TIME

YES THIS IS RIGHT

THE SIZE it might be a problem why do MacFlys forget the size

do it do it do it

FIST-TOLD YES

hm the photo's still wrong you'll want to get on that YOU ARE RUNNING SHORT ON TIME TO TRAVEL IN TIME

"I'm being helpful with this explanation, I'm quite sure of it"

oh would you look at that HAHAH MArvin's face just like "eh good enough then"

I'm sure I've heard this song or something like it WHAT DFO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW

I'm with you Marvin he's not succeeding at replacement guitaLET US NOT BE CREEPY NOISES

what

oh well that's very creepy

Lay one on her, guy

THAT'S THE WAY

You do not have time to really cook.

No it's probably not. Theeeere you go.

Can musicians really just do that?

This rocks too actually

Oh so this really turns his whole life around

that's cool.

but that will mean changes when MArty gets back

This feels like a reference. Who's Mariin berry?

Guy, a bit more sedate eh? annnnnnnnnnd you blew it.

STOP HAVING A GUITARGASM IT IS VERY RUDE

Nobody is ready for that yet. Nobody ever will be. Do not do that.

that was civil of you.

and SUPER awkward

how is this helpful

DON'T LET HIM PLAY WITH MATCHES wou;d be better advice

OH RIGHT WE STILL HAVE TO DO THIS

hehehe

love Doc Brown he's so delightfull nutHAHAHAH "NO CONCEPT OF TIME?"

This should be all but impossible

I'm on board :D

again with the clocks

"just do the impossible and we're all good. Crazy eyes for luck!"

GET IN THE VEHICLE

oh well that's most excellent love when a plan falls apart

Trees, you're the hero of none of the stories.

and now Gozer's coming this is perfect

ARE YOU A DOC? and there's Zuul

you're not gonna know a lot about the future if you stay put

LET'S HANG OUT FOR A BIT

did he NEED to slide across the car? I'm sure he did. Required part of the 80s teenage diet, car-sliding

this just keeps being not together.

loving the brass

you have as much as you want, moron

YEP!

Why not take more? hehe "fluxing"

DOn't tell me it's out of gas

that would be the worst plan flaw of all time

IT'S GO TIME LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN :D

WHEEEEE

THE MUSIC IS not with us what happened TREES AGAIN

WHY IS EVERYTHING NOT RIGHT hehehe even his crazy scream is hilarious

FIX IT NOW

HERE WE GO

did they just set fire to the building

minor bit of public arson, nothing to worry about

"I'\ll just leave this here"

:D

nice transition

wow the town's gone to hell in 30 years

I told you, not the greatest way to stop a car

it's a porn theater now?

maybe close the door?

I FOUND SOME TERRORISTS.

this is why you take more than 10 minutes, moron

:(

tell me he read the letter

he read the letter, right?

come on, you can't kill off DocBrown

YESSSS

he'sthe T1000

HAHAHA AWESOME YES YOU DID SIR

2015, then, that's next year :D

bet I could throw a fun party together to celebrate the arrival of Doc Brown

hahaha topical song

LEARN HOW TO SLEEP, KID

OHO

these look like successful and interesting people

hey look, your dad's not a noodle!

HAHAHHAA BIFF

SPACETIME-TOLD

yeah but see that's a terrible story involving, you know, sexual assault

OOH YEAH. THAT IS A TRUCK.

there's a lady

HI THERE DOC :D

so happy he;s back WITH DUDS SUCH DUDS AS ONE HAS NEVER SEEN

TITLE AGAINLOVE IT

he's making fusion with garbage. Next year's going to be the best thing ever, apparently

THE KIDS?

THEY GET MARRIED?

:D

WE DON'T NEED ROADS badass AWESOME OH HELL YES THAT'S HOW YOU END A THING

Wish I'd had the time (hey hey!) to watch this yesterday. Greatly enjoyed. Second thoughts tomorrow, as usual. Was this actually Spielberg, by the way? It didn't feel like his movie and there was another name in front too. Someone tell me and then I'll label it accordingly.