As you may be aware, the last Steven Spielberg movie I watched was all kinds of fun, boasting fantastic action, a great score and a breathless pace that kept me glued to my seat. Not that I was going anywhere regardless but still.
Now when I was a kid someone brought me a present of dinosaur stuff from the Royal Tyrell Museum out in Alberta. Dinosaurs were my thing at 5-6 years old. I could spell Tyrannosaurus, and Tyrannosaurus, and I could also spell Tyrannosaurus Rex. No I didn't have a favorite, why do you ask?
Getting back on topic: I know there will be dinosaurs in this movie. I'm grinning like an idiot.
So let's do the usual rundown:
• It's called Jurassic Park, there will be dinosaurs.
• I neither know nor care about anything else because DINOSAURS HELL YES.
• John Williams is doing the music. Isn't there enough icing on the cake already, folks?
• It's supposed to be exceptionally awesome. I'm very okay with this. :D
Anyway, enough of my dallying. It is time for the movie with the dinosaurs!
UNIVERSAL. Well there's a new one for the blog.
Ooh the music is stense alreadfy
HEllo Mr. Gun, is a dinosaur coming?
they comin boxes now? different
Welcome to Isla Nublar, which is Spanish for Nublar ISland
WHAT the hell
when the lihgt is green, the trap is clean
OH CRAP GUYS IT'S ON
why do dinousars flash blue light
what are you SHOOT HAH
well that took like three minutes. Mr. Spielberg, is it gonna be one of those movies?
Means hand of god
...insurance? It's one of THOSE movies?
Hammon should suck it up, inspections help save people from, oh, let's say SERIOUS INJURY. And getting eaten by dinosaurs
so they're going to get this guy they'll never get yes thank you The Music, world's most terrifying dead bug
my inner 5 year old is squealing with glee
computers hate you right back, buddy
OH that's smart I like it :D
hehehe old computers where IS the fun in that?
oh you're asking for it kid
this kid must have just gotten shit for the rest of his life
I'm taking this all at gospel, by the way, I don't know a thing except that I am so sold already
so they're married "A breed of child" HAHAHAHA
"SOME OF THEM SMELL" guys I love it all already oh that won't be good
getting a drink, what's it look like
"for today, I guarantee it!" says Santa :D
OH HEY HAMMON wow you're accent
I like him already
is it called Nublar by any chance
oh this is a shiny concept that I'm all on board with
"small versionf os adults" HEHEHEHE
oh the power of money
I don't know that I'd go somewhere hot for vacation. Call me crazy, but I like a white Christmas
HEHAHAHAHA that guy's from a show
"no one cares"
thought that was shaving cream
ah, so you're an ASSHOLE
a CHEAP asshole
the music's just so inspired it's amazing
so who are you then, Discount Terminator
a math guy?
hehehehe fashionable number cruncher
creep. shut it
OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY EARS RIGHT NOW
I WANT TO GO ANYWHERE THAT MUSIC REPRESENTS
i'm jsust electrified this is the most amazing bumBUM bum BUUUUUUUUUUM
heh, take the easy way
That waterfall, the green, the MUSIC WHO ALLOWS THIS TO EXIST AND NOT BE HEARD BY PEOPLE
play this in schools and the kids will want to go
and now we're adventure music with Jeeps :D guys I'm actually tearing from joy
WELL NOW that fence
so you're the weasel. yes you will, John. Unless fatty ruins it for you.
do we get dinosaurs I want them I want this make it
HOW DO YOU MISS THAT IT'S SO GOOD
yes you will it's amazing and worth every penny
YOU HAVE A T REX WELL THEN THAT'S THE SHOW GUYS THERE WILL BE T REX
I'm with Grant I'm overturned by this
According to the timer I'm 22:50 into the movie. It took Mr. Spielberg 22 minutes and 50 seconds to make me forget Indiana Jones and just bask in what he did. I can see where there's a little bit of detail lacking, where the shot looks a few steps short of totally believable, but I can't actually... I don't even know the word. I can't make myself know that? I feel euphoria. Maybe that's the codeine but I feel what I can only call euphoria. Those people are looking out at their life's work brought out of theory and into reality. Any director could have chosen to show us something big and frightening, or set it to music that emphasized size and danger and the earthshaking steps of the brontosaurs, but instead he went with the exact feeling that needed to be here, and it's this pure wonder, this majesty of nature and imagination that says "celebrate what has been done here." I'm SO SOLD ALREADY. I could leave the rest of the film for later. I could watch it never. I don't even care. This is marvelous.
Now we sound businesslike
I agree with you. I'm already captured.
there's that music I was talking about, that danger
THE BUG IN THE AMBER
this is a great way to do exposition
worst ride ever
They did, so by definition yes
fantastic I'm so on board with this
NOPE. NOT ALLOW
what's the word here. not pride it's a different one arrogance
HUBRIS there we go. that's what Mr. Awkward is on about
oh well shit and there's the hubris there are raptors on the island
he looks so happy and deranged about the cow
COW DELIVERY FROM YOUR METAL GOD
WELL THAT'S SOME NOISE let's not with the terrifying shrieks okay?
oh they're getting out in the open aren't they oh god now I've got shivers
and they're smart oh well hell
spared no expense
oh the merchandise
man you're a weasel and a rectum
are you here to dress like a Terminator and talk about hubris nonstop?
are you familiar with nukes?
that's an odd argument
you're going Freud with discovery? really?
interesting point from her. didn't catch her name
oh what why
is either of you John Connor because I will feed that one to a T Rex
spared no expense
hitting on his lady? dumb
his John Connor detector is on
get used to it Grant, this is happening
she's full of pranks that one
WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK OH YES I AM STOKED
no, Godzilla. Moron.
spared no expense
those are the fin ones?
spitters. Keep back please. Which ones are the fin ones?
Which reminds me, Roomie said we were getting a lot of readers from Finland. Hello Finnish readers! Glad to have you :D
Dennis. I bet he did have Butterfingers. And Oh Henrys. And Coffee Crisps.
love this guy he's so serious
TYRANNOSAUR OH YES IT IS ON. LET ME SEE A TYRANNOSAUR
I would expect more fence for a T. Rex
you said it, lady. How did I not catch her name
such a pessimist, Malcolm. I wish I din't know you're going to be right.
see this is the problem with all zoos. it's real. I DO TOO, I ALSO HATE HIM.
seriously you're a creep
STILL BEING A CREEP
I love that her creep detector's up and Grant doesn't feel the need to cockblock a creep.
guys no why are you not where you belong this is bad
ME. I THINK WHAT YOU SAID.
look at that grin. That is a shit-eating grin Dr. Lady
that's REAL it's REAL you guys it's REAL:D
yep I'm with lady I feel that exact way right now
I WANT A TRICERATOPS PILLOW
the quest for dino poo
didn't think I'd be writing that today
oh and we have storm. Ooooof course.
and that's a man trying to be sexy in front of a mountain of poo. I would like to never experience any other context for that sentence ever ever again.
JUST RIGHT IN THERE
oh come on he can't make lightning what did he actually do
don't split the party why do I need to teach people this
oh so you meant a STORM
oh no everything's about to go down
ah you're a SLEAZE. Special brand of creep.
right he;'s got stuff to steal
SADLER. There we go. No she is not you sleze
yes they are.
CHECK THE VENDING MACHINES, THEY DISPENSE HIM
oh hsit they're all still out in that crap
BECAUSE HE'S STUPID
congratulations you're an idiot
no phones, no security and a FAT COMPUTER MORON THING
you're such a weasel, weaselman.
oh that could be useful actually. HELM OF DARKVISION OBTAINED.
oh shit guys it';s happening
I know where thye are now
yes becasue that makes earhtquakes ALL the time
THERE IS NO GOAT. four most terrifying wortds ever right now
THERE IS SOME GOAT. I was wrong.
OH SHIT YES WE HAVE A T REX
YOU STUPID WEASEL DON'T LEAVE KIDS
right yes because dinos respect privacy
THE FENCE I WARNED YOU ABOUT THIS
HOLY SHIT AWESOME
OH HELL YES THAT IS AMAZING AND SCARY AT ONCE
why are you doing that DO NOT DO THAT bye kids
of course you did
Hio, My name is T.
that noise is just earthshattering
know the best wayu to turn off a OH SHIT
SNACK CONTAINER FOUND. COMMENCE EATING
that's REAL OH MY GOD THEY MADE A T REX
shivers guys this is so intense STRRESSSSS
tastes like weasel
oh god that would be terrifying but this is so amazing DON'T SCREAM WITH T REX AROUND
not the man's hat
"bet I can make you move"
SO STRESSED GUYS THIS IS AMAZING
YEAH BITCH, THIS IS MY HOUSE
"would you go kill the dinosaurs please?"
speaking of whom, let's check in WELL YES BUT YOU'RE STUPID AREN';T YOU
what's gonna get him raptors raptors will
classic banana peel noise
OH GOD HERE IT IS
hehehe it's actually cute
they come from the sides though
SHE'S A GIRL YOU MORON
you ARE food
oh god here they come
AHH GOD NO WHAT
well that's enough of your scheme
AND OF YOU GOOBYE DENNIS
yes he did but he was a weasel. look at this man. he rules the world right now. don't even worry about it
man anyone would throw up there don't even worry about it
just can't catch a break, can they
always in the car
hehehe they found some spare bits of lawyer
oh hey! the sleaze survived
HAHAHAHHAa alright you get a pass for being funny
HAHHA "please chance it" I'll say
but they ARE alive
I told you about splitting the party but nooooo
oh is he gonna get eaten now
according to the music, T REX YES YES YES IT'S ON NOW
HAHAHAHAHAHAH MUST GO FASTER
HAAAAAAA THE MIRROR
NO TIME FOR YOUR JEEP
oh fine whatever I didn't want to eat him anyway
no you hate CARS. tree saved you. CAR tried to kill you
they're singing? no they're like whales. That's talking
"YO MAMMA" well that was a mistake, wasn't it. Seriously don't talk dinosaur if you don't know the lingo
the music is so sweet
the joke is so stupid someone put him back in the car
again with the dad things. :(
there's a man whose dream is bleeding on the ground
go on, talk about the expense you spared none of
HE'S EATING ALL THE ICE CREAM :D
there's that hubris.
She's right, you're in way over your head.
HGE SAID IT
THAT'S REAL TOO
just imagine waking up to that
like even if it was an elephant just come to visit. I'd love to see an elephant up close, they're supposed to be super smart
I'm loving all of this
no you're not, you're a computer nerd.
wait wait no
those are gss they can't have those oh shit guys
the footprints are amazing detail
they're going to do bad things this is a bad plan
oh god everything's about to go to hell
guys it's dark he's gonna die
OHSHIT HERE THEY COME
YES THEY ARE RUN
now they look fake.
first effect I've been unimpressed by
HELLO MR REX HOW DO YOU DO
that kid grew up ugly, calling it now
Hammond's still cuckoo.
oh nice, sexism.
RAPTOR FENCE OH SHIT EVERYONE'S GONNA DIE
oh god you guys this looks like prime raptor territory
Mr. Gun, I salute you, but you're gonna die
ALL OF THE STRESS
HAHAHA suck it kids
yeah no you'll be climbing
oh god are they in the shed
OH SHIT THE FENCE
JUMP DOWN NOW
OHSHIT IT ACTUALLY HAPPED
OHFUK NO OH HOLT SHIT N
oh god that's am arm
MR GUN IS STILL ALIVE
we made it. now they just have to get to the dock or the helicopter while avoiding the EVERYTHING
still so tense guys. So much stress not going away quickly
there. MOST of the party back togehter. I did warn you
NO NO NO FUCK YOU NO
oh sure go to the food room they wouldn't look there
NO YOU AKSED FOR THAT THIS IS YOUR FAULT SADLER FOR ASKING
ogdod no why more
one was enough
the saber claw
STRESS ALL OF THE STRESS
WHERE IS THE OTHERONE OH HELLO THERE
that looks like the most useless system ever
a way off the island? because that seems most relevant right now
AHAHAHHAHAA "THE PHONES WORK"
BRING THE GUN YOU MORONS
OH WHAT NOOOOO
the music is NOT HELPING ME IT IS ON THE RAPTORS SIDE
SO MUSH STRESS
WHY ARE THERE TWO OH SHIT HOW
T REX HAS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT
yeah but I'd endorse T Rex vs. Raptor cage matches
the music is just hitting me right there
birds. I feel like I understand
The only thing I can even compare that to is Star Wars, and I don't think that's fair to either movie. I need a bit to think on this before the second post. Just awesome.