Pirates of the Caribbean: First impressions

Arr. Rum... something. Rum's Caribbean, anyway, and I'm pretty sure it's a piratey drink. Or maybe that's grog. Glog is a spiced wine that some sort of non-French Eurofolk enjoy at Christmas (Jeremies also enjoy it and got to try it this year, it was very nice), and screech is Caribbean run of the most particularly cheap and horrifying sort, which the Newfies try to pass off as something one can drink. They are liars. And probably pirates. So as I was saying, rum is a pirate drink!

Of course, I can't drink anything fun right now, so I'm going to settle in for piracy on the sunny seas with a tall glass of... milk. You know, for strong bones. Oh the irony.

Daily ritual time! Jeremy, what do you know about this movie?

• There will be pirates!

• It is likely set in the Caribbean! Which Roomie was good enough to spell for me because I can never remember if it's two Rs or two Bs.

• Two Bs or not two Bs, that is the question.

• There's a cursed jewel, a black pearl that they'r eprobably chasing because pirates or trying to get rid of because curses. Cursed jewels had some real cachet in my gaming group, the two DMs loved them.

• The rest of us not so much.

• There will probably be rum!

• Or grog!

• But not glog, which is a shame.

• Or milk, which is less of a shame but you know, milk is good, go milk.

• SO YES. JEREMY DOES NOT KNOW THIS MOVIE. I know it was popular when I was in elementary school and that they made a sequel and that some kids had lunchboxes. Nobody ever played pirates, though. I think we all thought we were too grown-up for that. And then bickered about cooties or something because hey why not? Nah, we played soccer. Good times.

Now then, I haven't done anything with pirates yet. That sounded lewd. Moving on: let's watch us a new movie! :D

Hmm... ominous foggy opening.

With a ship! Full of pirates?

Hello creepy singing child. That's not dissonant or eerie at all. Go you.

Cursed pirates, or accursed pirates? Didn't catch it. There's a difference.

"Consider them marked." I doubt his sincerity.

Hehehe miniature.

Miss Swan. Mr. Gibbs. Lieutenant. Check.

Hehe Gibbs you're the man.

Mr. SwanGOVERNOR Swan my apologies. HAHAHA you know it, sir.

Do you have enough fog and rrrrandom umbrella

Why so there is! Let us mock him for his unfortunate position.

WELL THEN. Guess pirates have NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT.

Hello Elizabeth. Go fall in love with that kid, eh? Cool, thanks.

Wait why are you rowing TOWARD the pit of fiery doom?

Bit early for the jumps, yes?

Good day, Will Turner! I mean, not for you, but just in general.

Oooh... intriguing.

You're being a sneak, Liz

Well that does look very friendly AND THAT IS A GHOST PIRATE SHIP OKAY THEN

guys I'm so stoked for this.

So this is Old Liz. Well, grown-up Liz. I shouldn't judge.

Right yes always put on the necklace with the skull on it. It's not obviously cursed and magical.

Every time someone says that there's ALWAYS a HERE WE GO.

Commodore Norrinton.

HAHAHAHHAA agreed Liz. That just seems tremendously unfomcortable.

Nice going sir. Is this Will it's Will.

"The six-fingered man's sword"

I should know more about swords, swords are cool.

Ohhhh it was his work wasn't it.

Let's see if THAT craftsman wants to hear you "appreciate" his "work"

HAHA I like it. At least once more, as always.

Yyyyeah they fell in love.

So now he just has to dress up in black andPIRATE WITH EPIC MUSIC

Look at YOU sir

guys I'm sold on this fffffffHAHAHAHA WHAT

WHAT

WHERE'S THE REST OF IT

bad day for you, sirs

Pirates, ye be warned.

This music is excellent. Strings of adventure! :D

HAHAHAHA ohh okay so haha oh this is grand

what boat?

Exactly.

Look at this guy! Welcome Mr. Smith indeed

oh you scallywag

I like him, he's going to be lots of fun

They do this sort of thing at Louisbourg. It was fun to see a few times.

Need a name for that guy. Hatman. He is Hatman.

Hatman is up to shenanigans and chicanery.

If he sees one, he shall inform you immediately.

Can';t call him HAtman, they;ve all got Hats

hahahaha someone has to do the job, I suppose

Nigh. Great word.

Oh it's a ship!

Oh it's a fake ship!

Oh it's a real ship I hate you both

I'm with you, Braidbeard

A MAN SO EVIL HELL SPAT HIM OUT. SOLD.

Hahaha love the smile.

"Just trying it on, I swear"

IT'S SUCH A PRETTY BOAT! :D

I feel sorry for people whose real name is Smith, it's such an alias

I think he was too

HAHAHA GUYS THIS IS AWESOME. IT'S LIKE PRINCESS BRIDE ON A BOAT

No hold the phone is he hitting on her HE IS PROPOSING TO A LADY HE WAS OLD ENOUGH TO BABYSIT

WHOOPS

Yeah, guy, this is why you're still single. Women would rather plunge into the sea

Pride of the King's navy.

WHAT was that

Yes I just said that

Zooming in on skeletons is never good, I just want you to know that right now

seriously it went like VOOM. Something bad is coming.

The music agrees with me.

Chaotic good?

Chaotic neutral.

What does Signapore have to do with anything OH HEY HE KNOWS WHAT IT IS

"I was undressing her for her own safety, promise"

HAHAHAHAH "his fault" "SHOOT HIM"

Oh would you look at that

WELL THAT DIDN'T GO WELL AT ALL

Hello Jack SpaCAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, my apologies

But you HAVE heard of me!

So sold on this. This is excellent.

THOUGH IT'S ENOUGH TO CONDEMN HIM> oh what are we up to now

Chaotic neutral! :D

AND MY HAT

I thought he couldn't shoot? No powder. He said so

Well come on, what was the alternative? Hanging for saving you? No thank you

HAHAHA YESSSSSS AWESOME

ENJOY THE CANNON

He's just not very good at this

HAHAHAHAHHA that's great

The chase is on!

So they can neither swim nor shoot. Good soldiers.

Norrinton, you're just a stick aren't you

What do you do with a drunken blacksmith EAR-LY IN THE MORNING

AHAHAHAH why would you even ahhhhh that's why

this plan has issues

Oh hey! It's Will!

Not a minute into the shop and he's rubbing his ass.

ohhh the hat

Hands off, sir

Have I threatened you before? Amused

These two aren't left-handed either!

Are you TEACHING him?

AHAHA THE DOOR you sneaWHOA NOW LET'S NOT BE THROWING THOSE

Guy come on, he's in a blacksmith's place it's nothing but weapons and a dinkey

See?

Valid point, Jack.

He did!

He is!

A what?

That was a fairly unlikely thing to be practicing for, jhust saying

This? This is great. The balancing act :D

Uh oh

NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT

Annnnd up you go :D

This just keeps getting more and more awesome! :D

The music agrees with me!

Oh hell. You're gonna HAHAHA SUCKER

well that's one way to win

"Pirate" Valid point

Oh just shoot him

Interesting! Who is it meant for?

Wait seriously? HE gets the credit HAHAHAH he looks like a troll

Dog's like "Offer some steak"

HAHHAA way to misinterpret, Liz.

What does "smart" mean in this context? Like pants?

Oh look at you, maid lady! Being scandalous!

ohhhh crap it's on now

what IT is I have no idea but the on-ness of IT is not even in questioWELL IT WOULD BE PIRATES THEN WOULDN'T IT

How do you know THOSE CANNONS?

Oh it is! :D

Oh this is getting verrrry interesting now!

"No survivors? Who tells the stories?" Duhhhhhhh...

Well holy shit maybe they do leave no survivors, the rate they're going

HERE THE COME

Man they're like sea goblWHY THE EYE WHY IS THIS A THING

AXE!

Go Will! Put that three hours of training to good use

why are you there? LEAVE

AGREED WITH NORRINTON. That's how much of a moron you are.

Oh god no they're coming for her ELLO CHUM OH HERE COMKES THE STRESS

STRESS EVERYWHERE

SHE'S RIGHT

STRESS

AHAHAHHAHA told

YESSSSSS EMBERS AWAY, BITCH

oh crap you're done now

AND OUT HE GOES!

 STRESS

...ahahaha that won't help then will it

what

out the window! :D

"Really?" oh dear

It CALLS TO THEM? SO INTRIGUED YOU GUYS

WHAT IS IT?

OH SHIT THAT WAS CREEPY

parlez?

they're chaotic evil, why do they have a code? Nonsense

You just asked for that, moron

GO GET HER WILL

DOING

oh what the hell

"You've no manner of luck at all" How very true.

Of course there's a full moon. Wasn't eerie enough to be BESIEGED AT NIGHT BY PIRATES

they've found him

Not firends, then

WHATTHEFUCK

THERE IS A CURSE

shivers of awesome

that IS very interesting

that was a skeleton arm

Was he rotting? It was just the arm. Everyone else seems fine

HEY NOW.

Told.

Captain Barbosa

LOTTA LONG WORDS, MISS hahahahaha

"means no" LOVE IT. THIS GUY IS GREAT

oh well they know that thing, don't they

Ohhhh she caught them

OH THAT'S AN OBVIOUS TELL. Miss Turner indeeWAIT THAT MEANS THEY WANTED WILL

the hell does "bootstrap" mean

IT'S A TRAP DON'T DO ohhh you did it

you're about to learn the meaning of Laweful Evil, Liz

TOLD THRICE OVER, LIZ

and Will is up with the chickens

They probably know that, Will

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

"Even though you're the only age-appropriate one"

Where does it whatnow

hehe miscreants ILA DA MUERTA. Sounds like Island of Death

He's so happy about that!

The key's run off. Amused.

Oh he knows too HE KNOWS THEY'RE ALL INTERESTED IN WILL TURNER WHAT IS UP

ICan't leave without the hat

THEY'RE GOING TO STEAL A SHIP?

oh right because if you call it commandeering there's no problem at all

"Oh good!" so chipper about that

JUST YOUR AVERAGE LEGGED CANOE, NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG

was gonna say, can be both

well look at them go

"Avast?"

Someone took the flaw "Must Repeat Own Name"

Look at them go. Like inept little monkeys.

THERE IS A PLAN, A CLEVER PLAN let me in on this plan

annnd here they come

oh would you look at YOU ARE A CLEVER FELLOW

YOU TOOK THE FAST ONE

he took the fast one

Swing and a miss. Literally :D

THEY DID, TOO! THEY PREPPED THE WHOLE SHIP!

Long 9s?

oh shhhit

THAT'S GOT TO BE THE BEST SO IT WOULD SEEM. AWESOME.

Guys this is a lovely movie and I'm glad I'm watching it now. I wouldnt have caught so much if I were like ten

Yes I did. He became Darth Vader. Very sad.

BOOTSTRAP. THERE WE GO.

AND HE WAS A PIRATE! LOOK AT THAT

He was a scallywag! What a jaunty way to describe a pal

I think they were pals

He's got you there, Will

"all by me onesie" just picturing him with this baby footie pyjama thing

Dortuga!

What is Dortuga

Aha, a wretched hive of scum and villainy!

Why yes I watched it again why do you ask

Can't even try to quote him half the time, he talks os fasHAHAHAH It will linger

"...except me"

I may have deserved that! Love it

GIBBS

and pigs

alternately, try a pinch of salt over the shoulder

HAHAHA he's just like "fair enough"

yeah, watch out for rogues. And their ilk.

So he wants to steal a ship

Yeah, prove himk wrong

Ohhhhh they need Will Turner for someYEAH MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS WHY DON'T YOU

What does it meeeeeeeeean

Take what you can, give nothing back! Excellent

And now we have the Black PEarl.

Hahaha he totally called it didn't he

Well done, Barbosa

AND THEY'RE JUST LIKE "YOUR CHOICE WAS UNREASONABLE"

Hell of a dinner

Damn that bread looks good

Is the food cursed OH THE POISON APPLE

either that or you're just getting off on this

man apples get a bad rap. Good job fairytales. Which one was that with the apple

Aztecs too!

So they're all cursed. How? That one guy was partially rotted

Shut up, monkey

At least it's not a Nazi monkey

and then she does the Marion thing because of course

so that's like the last one wait blood?

TURNER BLOOD

THEY THINK SHE'S A PIRATE'S DAUGHTER

"yet" OH WELL SHIT THEN

ARR he said it :D

well then

you're on a boat EXACTLY thank you Barbosa WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

It's actually a ghost ship they're all undead

WE'RE DEAD AND ENJOY THE TRAMPOLINE

The wheel was awesome

OHSHI NOOOOOOO NO FUCK OFF WITH THE UNDEAD MONKEY

That is one hell of a nasty curse

And then they're all like "this is the most hilarious thing"

I'm with you Liz, this just escalated like hell

Good day Cotton

Yikes.

"Mr Cotton's... parrot" Love it

beyond a doubt

 allo lady

This is a thing, right?

HHEHEHE that's two

right so: borrowed without permission, no success. Commandeer? Great success

AYE. THAT ONE.

"Worse luck not to" Jack knows, man. He knows about the ladies.

See this? This is why I don't boat. This just looks like misery.

 so wait it's a magic item! It points to Ila Da Muerta, doesn't it

Loves him some ceremony, Barbosa does

you know, Barbe is french for beard and Os is french for bone

he's bonebeard

he really is

well this looks familiar

THANK YOU CREEPY PARROT.

SHARKS

Hamemrhead sharks, no elss

oh so it's his ship

Jacks'a  moron. Of course there was.

 HAHA love the imitation

so that's who it's for. That's actually really awesome.

insane sort of escape story

OH HELLO JACK

"from muh back" HOW GROSS WOULD THAT BE

Aye, the code. Love all these chaotics with a code of ruleHELLO WEALTH

you two done screwed the pooch

Really? A parasol?

I'm with you, large growly man

That IS a pretty chaotic code, I'll give them that.

"Not all treasure is gold" Truer words...

Hell of a speechyman, isn't he?

How did they not figure it out right from the getgo? or was it one of those nasty slow curses

Oh now the monkey knows IT IS NEVER RIGHT WHEN THE MONKEY KNOWS

PErsonal space, Jack

JAck's just excellent. Kudos to the actor, he just owns it

oh shit what's gonna happen

thsat was stupid

he told you nothing stupid

that was pretty simple, all told

Didn't take. I wonder why. Sure hope Jack didn't deliver them exactly what they want

LEt's check

HAHAHHAA I DIDN'T THINK HE'D ACTUALLY DO IT

GUYS COME ON enough with the abuse

what the hell are they afraid of?

It's coming undone now!

OHHHHH THEY DID WHAT?

"eh fine, let's just WAIT WHAT"

Oh shit Jack's still in the cave

AHAHHAA he stole the oars. Of course he ddwell that didn't last long

"am I not? oh well then NOT THAT WEAY OR THIS WAY"

Parsley? PArlez!

That would be the FrenYESSSS I WAS JUST SAYING IT

I lvoe this movie. It thinks like I do! ...Badly! :D

yyyyeah kinda dropped the hero ball there, Liz

he's gonna say it

HE SAID IT. Can I take that flaw next time?

How do you NOT make that mistake? It's the man's name!

See?

She did, too! Call her out, then kiss her. She's gonna let ya

She's gonna kiss you first at this rate

DON'T STOP oh there it is right there plain as day

OH GO ON ALREADY

you two are MORONS and why is your hand at her boobs YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT A SEXY THING, RIGHT?

"because shiny!"

Oh come off it you would have loved it

annnd now Will catches up. I love being ahead of the characters, I feel smart.

Jack, Jack you're overreaching. Baaaaadly.

I suspect this does not go in Jack's favor. They're going to catch up to the Interceptor. Which will be the Intercepted.

That's a valid point YOU ARE TAUNTING HIM and who called it? I called it. I am a genius!

"People are easy to search when they're dead!" FLING. Love it. Barbosa, you're a hell of a guy. Man so evil, nah, but you're a hell of a fun thing.

Wait do they bring their own fog?

Oh so now she's in charge! Ladies rule the ship!

"Apparently there's a leak!" Jack you're just so unflappably deranged, I love it.

What does that mean that he said it like it was this sneaky awesome thing? "The sweeps?"

William, you're going to do something particularly stunned soon, aren't you

Yeah, fight the skeletons. Always works.

You and your GODDAMN MONKEY

IS it just me or is Liz DAFT LIKE JACK HOW IS THAT A COMPLIMENT

so how does this help?

I'm not a nautical guy, I don't get the what-all of this

HERE WE GO

STOP BLOWIN OWLS IN MY WHIP

AHAHAHAHA OH THT'S HUST THE WORST oh ewwwww don't yank it out

No seriously they were shooting cutlery

No luck of any kind, Jack my sir OH HEY

Treacherous, lady. Where's your sisterhood

This is getting hard to follow with all the god and that was like a bolas they just shoOHHH SHIT THIS IS BAD

So wait, he boarded... his own ship... with the other ship.

Just speculating, what happens if you knock one into the drink?

Wait why is je stuck udner the ship WHAT IS HAPPENING OH GOS TRESS THEY'RE GOING TO BLOW IT UP

"Thanks very much!"

WHACK. Yes, like that, thank you Jack

FOCUS sir

You fucking monkey. You know, I used to like monkeys

"That's not very nice!"

So, lawful good, chaotic good and a chaotic neutral party member they don't particularly like.

Chasing a monkey? Come on.

"Not you, we named the monkey Jack." IT HURTS TO LAUGH OH MY GOD

This is NOT VERY POSITIVE. I know he gets out, they need his blood, but STILL THERE IS DROWINING

Not a fan of the French, is he?

Barbosa, the crazy eye is strong with you

He's gonna

Annnnnd there he goes

"Like that." Yes, Jack. Like that.

Why do they let him talk?

Don't fuck it up, boy

"Yes we know that one"

Poor Jack. Will does NOT like you.

If he had, they wouldn't be quite so completely fucked right now, eh?

"Don't dare question my honor!" Love Barbosa. He's just sneaky witty good fun.

THE DRESS HAHAHAHHA oh that's brilliant

Haha you old pervert.

Oh fuck off monkeyJack

TOO LONG kersplash

That we made you Governor of. I'm just all over how awesome a dick Barbosa is.

And he even plays "fair." BY THE POWERS, YOU'RE RIGHT!

Oh here we go, the Lawful Chaotic Comedy Hour

"Not likely" THAT WAS A BRA SIZE JOKE sneaky clever bastard

It WAS rum. I knew it!

Man you're all over the map on pirates and whatlike. It's all good if it's not him, eh? You're a brat

A DRUNKEN BRAT and he loves the song. REALLY BAD EGGS

What IS the Spanish Main? I never got that.

Is he philosophizing orshmoozing

IT'S A PUT ON DON'T TRUST THE SIREN

And then he does this wacky moustache curl he's just the most insane and awesome thing SEE I TOLD YOU

Well that's an idea

WHY IS THE RUM GONE?

BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE? oh it jurts to laugh

Hahaha I love the deadpan

Oh hey Governor Curly

WHY DOES ANYONE LET HIM TALK

TRUMP CARDED

Drinks all around! :D

Jack you're the last person who should be mentioning the word clap, me thinks

Norrinton grew a sense of humor! I like it Inescapably! Love it

Oh yes I want to know, what happened to Bootstrap

TELL ME WHAT BARBOSA DID

 oh god no that's just fuckin horrifying so he's just what "alive" at the bottom of the ocean somewhere?

for TEN YEARS OH HOLY SHIT BARBOSA YOU'RE THE WORST

He'll probably say something clever and I'll like him again but still

"The future Mrs. Commodore"

Oh come on why are YOU being a prick? To HER? No logic there and ohhh yes it is. You burned the poor man's rum!

HEHEHE I like those two

annnnd here's Jack again!

"S'not possible!"

Will, this is still your fault.

"Except Liz, who is in fact a woman" IT. HURTS. TO. LAUGH.

"No I really think I do" LOOK IT'S RIGHT THERE IN BARBOISA'S FACE WHY DOES ANYONE EVER LET HIM TALK

So wait

Whose side is JAck on here? How does this play? Cause They are NOT unprepared or unawares now

THERE WE GO. Good on you, Norrinton

I'll give him this, the man's got 18 Charisma and maxed Bluff

Savvy? By all means, kill the welp! OH THE EYES THING IT'S A PLAN

OH YOU DEVIL SNEAK ?THEY CAN'T RAISE THE CURSE NOW

I'LL BUY YOOU THE HAT!!!! That's all it took to sell him. I love it so much what

I'm with you, Jack, how's this go

Are they going to stalk the bottoYES THEY ARE. How does that help though?

Anchor rope, right

WELL THAT'S A CREEPY SIGHT THEN ISN'T IT

AND NOW THEY'RE BONES

Oh what the blazes are these two doing

THIS IS GETTING CREEPY

Sorry Governor Curly, but she's, ah, not listening

Oh here we go it's on now

Of course she's not you daffy bastard

Wait was that the funny one OH COME ON I LIKED HIM

She's a teenager. Type. Thing. She ran off

Good going, morons.

OH SHIT IT'S REALLY ON

NOPE

Heh, this is like "chaotic neutral: the credo"

HERE IT COMES

STUPID WAS THEIR CODEWORD

Just as well THJE MUSIC IS WITH US NOW :D

Yesssss Jack vs Barbosaa!

HERE THERE BE MONSTERS oh you're just the most awesomethig Barbosa

They're debating first meals as de-undead?

Redead?

What would you even call that HOLY FHSINO GO TO HELL MONKEY

You two are such morons

STILL VERY STRESS I WOULD LIKE TO SAY

Well this is all going VERY POORLY

Oh you're good and fucked now aren't you THE HAIR

YESSSS THE DUEL AND EPIC MUSIC :D

come on, say something witty

He's got a point

OH WHAT THE FUCK NOO

WHAT

YESSSSSSSSSSS THAT'S RIGHT

DUEL BETWEEN UNDEAD PIRATES. I AM COMPLETELY ON BOARD WITH THIS

And now there's a hand like Cousin Thing

THIS IS NOT GOING WELL

Will's doing much better DON'T GOAD THE UNDEAD, MORON

Who allowed the music to be this good

I WOULD BE ON BOARD WITH THAT PLAN

Or you could surrender!

AAAAARRRRRR

BOAT

nnnnnnope.

They smell a lawful pretending to be a chaotic and it's all like "Oh no you did not"

HAHAHAHAHA hypocrisy hurts my ribs

The British Navy is sustaining just a crapload of casualties here NOT WITH THE EYE AGAIN even if it's fake it's still gross

THEY'RE ALIVE

BOMBS OH SHIT that could actually suck

That was not funny. Don't try funny, Liz, you're not good at ti

AHAHAHAHA nicely done, kids

OH HERE IT GOES

so it's not an illusion

WHAT

OH

OHHHHH YESSSSSSS

THAT IS GENIUS

THAT DID IT

I'm going to miss him

OH COME ON where did he get an apple

Ohhhh you lot are in for it know. Parlez, anyone? EWWW no thanks

That's right, they would be completely out of practice at fighting like they';ve got something to lose PARLEZ AND THERE IT IS :D

AWESOME

Haza?

The Governor is so out of place and I love it

I'm sure I've heard haza before but I don't get it

WOULD YOU TWO JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY

YOU'RE VERY BAD AT BEING IN LOVE

oh right she did that

Loving the new bling, Jack

Jack is full of wisdom

Youuuu don't have a ship. Sorry.

Oh WHAT THE HELL. AFTER ALL THAT

COME ON

That is one hell of a badass hat I am sold on the hat

"Oh yeah I did to that one" hehehee

I see a parrot, are we about to escape? :D

The Dread Pirate William is here for your souls!

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME SON

Oh yes here we go

Faaaaake

THROWN SWORD YESSS

 CLOTHESLINED

Will, you look all leveled up now

HEhe they make a hell of a WELL FUCK

should have done a double

So he's... true neutral now? Between Lawful Nitwit and Chaotic Nutcase?

Acumenically?

Hehehe Jack WHY DOES ANYONE LET YOU TALK

"Nice hat" INDEED

The day that splash?

AHA! Friendly flag!

Norrinton, just give in

THERE WE GO. Good on you, Norry

Sporting of you, old chap. Pip pip and that lot

Man that's the path she chose since she waqs like ten

WELL NOT IF YOU TAKE OFF HIS HAT HE ISN'T have you learned nothing

Enough of these two, elt's het to the PIRATES

Allo chaps!

I'm all English now

HEHEHE I love the repeating concepts and lines

BE HATTED, CAPTAIN

She's cute when she's not vengeful or in ship combat

I AM ON DECK WITH THIS

Boom,. Liove that. Love that line. "Bring me the horizon"

END WITH THE THEME BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT JEREMY WANTS DON'T YOU KNOW IT SIRS AND MADAMS AND EVEN THOSE ON THE FENCE

Pithy closing statement. Jaunty ride. Pip pip. Second thoughts to follow! :D