Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Not-So-Great Internet Outage (is fixed)

Squirrels. Mother beeping squirrels. I thought they were supposed to be, you know, cute. Industrious. Fat-cheeked. Kind of like nature made rats 2nd edition, the not-terrible version. Turns out they are in fact rats 2nd edition, the chews-on-wires-because-go-fuck-yourself version. Now when most people have no Internet, they go outdoors, maybe hit up a cafe with free wireless. For some of us that's not an option. Needless to say it's been a fun week of "we fixed it" "no you didn't" "no we didn't." I got one forum message out during the however long of "fixed" they had before they broke it again.

Anyway, we're lucky I'm smart. When things weren't posting they stayed in the text field, so I saved them all outside the blog post thing. Long story short: first impressions and reviews safe.

Anyway (again) I'll start posting them now. I'll give you The Matrix first since I'm betting everyone wants that one. Get ready for a week's worth of stuff today, folks. :D

And seriously. Fuck squirrels.

10 comments:

  1. Phew! I thought you had a Medical Situation. Can't wait to settle down in my comfy chair this evening and do some catching up :)

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    1. Nah. If that happens Roome or Lacy will post here to let you all know. Fingers crossed that it doesn't. :D

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  2. A squirrel took out our electricity, once. Just the one house. We arrived home to find the poor little guy spread-eagled on his back off to the side of the driveway. My dad spoke to the guys who were fixing it, and he learned that this happens in our small town an average of over two hundred times a year. :D

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    1. That's just insane. What the heck makes them so ferociously zap-hungry?

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    2. Well, their teeth never stop growing, so they gnaw on things constantly to keep them worn down. The top of a transformer box seems like a reasonably safe place to bask in the sun, which squirrels actually like to do (but you wouldn't know it because they're flighty little suckers). The inside of a transformer box seems like a nice hollow place to live in, just like a slightly more metal/plastic tree. And so on.

      Power companies have taken to spending money on anti-squirrel protection for their equipment, but there's only so much they can get ahead of, apparently. You can idiot-squirrel-proof all you like, but nature will always come up with a better idiot-squirrel.

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  3. I was excited when I thought it was just The Matrix. Now that I know it's a week's worth of stuff I am glad I came home early. Also, glad you are OK and it was just bad internet.

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    1. Yeah, I'll space stuff out every few hours so people don't miss anything under the pile.

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  4. glad to hear it's just random internet flakiness and not anything worse!

    also: squirrels are assholes. A college guy I coached one year had an epic squirrel infestation in his attic and they simultaneously did a lot of damage while keeping him awake with their noise and rummaging about. The ensuing tale of his attempt to deal with them was gross and hilarious; suffice to say, he is not a fan of the species either.

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  5. Squirrels were the bane of our garden. By far the worst pest we had.

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